Illness

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Terrified.

 

Pulled out of mind,

pain racked body

screams from far away

and I have

no recourse –

just curl into

a frozen ball on a

hospital floor, as if

I could escape

this misery.

 

Terrified.

 

“Just Relax.”

Breathe,

I am told

in a room

without windows…

Hooked up

to tubes

for their convenience

not mine, certainly.

My entire arm

turns black

as I endure further assault.

Above, White light

Burns my eyes,

I throw up

again to platitudes

uttered in total ignorance-

perhaps stupidity.

 

When I complain

without remorse

I am the “Bitch” –

An old one at that.

This inhumane treatment

is our broken

medical system –

the Perfect Machine,

oblivious to human frailty.

 

I am terrified.

 

Once home

with dear canine

Companions

And a dove

who sings up

the moon,

I can once again

contemplate

Gratitude

that I survived

One more trauma,

if only from afar.

 

 

Terrified.

 

What if this had been

my time of dying?

To spend final moments

in fright

not of death,

But of what human robots

might do next?

 

Terrified.

 

This morning

I staggered to the river

to gaze at the sky

before dawn.

 

A sky full of bruised purple

and pink, an orange glow

etching bare branches in black ink.

The Earth moves through her cycles

And this brings me comfort.

Silencing the fright

crackling through hopelessly fragile bones.

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2 thoughts on “Illness

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