The Memory Field

Trees know about memory

When my mother…

 left her body


it was mine to keep…

Even my thoughts

 at 3:00 AM are hers.

I carry death fears for two.

 Dark Shadows

 claw, tear across my

  nerve wrecked brain. 

Before dawn 

 a steel white band

wraps itself

around my grief – only Grace

can break its hold.

Against my will

I step through

the door…

Lying here

 in a body

full of holes,

terrified of dying,

 abandoned,

before I was born.

Oh how I

miss the warm body

 – the furry wild animal

whose vulnerable soul 

 fled from the child

 in raw terror

so long ago.

Will it ever be safe

to invite her back in?

I’m walking on

a woodland path

 towards

 a tunnel 

someone dug

under mountains

of snow.

On the other side

I emerge 

 into circle of green, purple

 crocus and beyond –

more snow –

to meet a benign

‘spirit of the land’?

Theory of Memory:

Morphic resonance, memory, and the habits of nature/Sheldrake

  Dr. Rupert Sheldrake’s theory posits that memory is inherent in nature.

 Memory is not stored in our brains but is situated in “fields” that surround us

The laws of nature actually more like habits – we live in an evolutionary universe where everything changes…

In humans (and in the rest of nature) morphic/body, social, psychological, behavioral fields etc, can all be tapped into individually and collectively. Our minds don’t store memories – they act as receivers.

(www.sheldrake.org)

 From a psychological perspective resonance from the past is strongest with family – and family patterns exert the most pressure on each succeeding generation for good or ill. This theory explains why both positive and negative patterns repeat. (family, community, religious affiliation, political, cultural , nature  – the circle gets wider and wider and the further you have to jump – to create a bridge – in order to seek healing the harder it is – but it can be done)… for example if there are problems within a family and a child has a relative, friend, mentor, teacher, a successful bridge to healing can occur. If not a tribe might be found as part of a community or religious tradition…. Nature, the container for the whole on earth is perhaps the hardest to access directly (by westerners) unless one is an Indigenous person, mystic, or has developed an intimate relationship with nature and has animal/plant familiars that open the door. The entire cosmos – an unimaginably large field – lies on the outermost rim.

In my case I experience unwelcome memories as takeovers by foreign entities – these memories feel like mine but I also have the weird sense that they also belong to someone else. In this case I believe my fear of death comes directly from my mother. I ‘knew’ this before I ever discovered Sheldrake’s theory in the 80’s.  Up until that time I thought I was deranged. These family constellations can be either positive or negative – usually a combination of both – but my mother remains a mostly negative figure even in death.

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