People send me pictures of your children
bright green and twining
even in the northern winter dark,
while here in gold spun light
you pine and droop
shedding leaf after leaf
like tears
into my heartbroken hand.
Each morning I witness
new shoots withering
on your vine.
If it’s time
to let you go I must accept what is.
You have been with me for
so many years and I have
offered so many of your cuttings
after they were rooted
with the promise of an
unearthly crown of
cereus blue flowers to come.
Folks gasped when they saw them,
but I just smiled knowing
more would come.
If it’s time
to let you go I must accept what is.
I always wondered why
no one else could coax your
new roots to grow, but then
our relationship was
based on the kind of Love
that binds two souls.
I know now that our roots
and body were always One.
If it’s time
to let you go I must accept what is.
We were part of one another
when I was a green and purple
ground creeper. I just didn’t know.
Dreams so often speak to futures
incomprehensible.
And I didn’t recognize myself as a plant!
I was just grateful
to share your beauty with others
who might fall in love too –
the way I did with you.
If it’s time
to let you go I must accept what is.
Yesterday, I placed a plastic dome
over your tender shoots
so fragile
only three left now,
promising myself
not to fuss.
If it’s time
to let you go I must accept what is.
.
And yet, I cannot dim the hope
that Nature’s Grace
will intervene and save you yet…
I could not protect you
from either bugs and fungus –
spores poisoned
the air around us, and new
leaves were distorted by aphids
sucking your blood –
I added layers of anxious grief
and loss of trust.
If it’s time
to let you go I must accept what is.
Two young sheltered rootless daughters
stand by your side
as witnesses to what will come.
Will their presence comfort you?
Will they take root too?
That I want you to live
is something you already know.
Thriving as you once did, has become
something of a dream,
though I never for a moment
took your bountiful life force for granted.
If it’s time
to let you go I must accept what is.
This morning I heard the Owls call
from the northern peaks across the road
-the place where the Great Bear rises
and I felt less alone –
Like my too exhausted body,
there might be a message
for both of us about hope
and growing greener, tougher
able to withstand more challenges
together…. gaining strength
from each other as we once did
as One.
And yet –
If it’s time
to let you go I must accept what is.
I hear the flower child weeping,
as if from great distance…
“Please don’t leave us.”
But if it’s time
We must wander through the world of the dead –
To find a way to let you go.
Over The Edge and Beyond: Journal of a Naturalist 